A little mid-week humour to lighten the mood

[Ancient_Mariner]

He got bogged down in the tourtiere with maple syrup.

[Ancient_Mariner]

A ‘Lord High Executioner’ moment:

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Ancient_Mariner]

@vero

Hopefully not too small to read - the window of a beauty salon in Bath.

[vero]

Marvellous! In Le Buisson de Cadouin (the amusingly snigger-worthy when translated Dordogne village), there is (or perhaps was, it’s about 15 years since I saw it) a hairdressers’ very appropriately called ‘Fanny Coiffure’. Snigger away, I do.

[Pip1000]

If I need a laugh during the day to lighten the mood, I stand naked in front of a full length mirror for 10 minutes, in the words of Kelly Brooke, it works for me

[Ancient_Mariner]

That may be just a little too much information…

[Pip1000]

Sorry but I like to share, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, and the great thing about being naked in front of a full length mirror is, the older you get, the funnier it is

[SuePJ]

@Pip1000

for 10 minutes,

Not sure it needs 10 minutes. I find 30 seconds works for me.

[Ancient_Mariner]

There are times when a lack of imagination might have been an advantage!

[Ancient_Mariner]

For thos still following cricket…

[Ancient_Mariner]

In the words of the Lord High Executioner “I’ve got a little list…” :

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of tortoises.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate it when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminium can stuffed with celery?
17. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”
19. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald bloke who just won a comb.

[Bonzocat]

Which of 1 to 21 of the above is your favourite, one 'n all? Mine is n°6…

[Ancient_Mariner]

12, 13 and 16 all apply. Sleep is a slightly difficult commodity at times, and my bed is no longer my friend.

[david_gillies]

Amazon exists to give the cats of the world empty boxes.

[Bonzocat]

Two kittens playing in the garden. They rest for a while and watch a sparrow, perched on top of a fence. Said one, “When I grow up, I’m going to get me one of those”.

(don’t think I’ll ever grow up myself)

[letsmile]

Peloton advert - Falkirk

[Ancient_Mariner]

[Ancient_Mariner]

Seems appropriate round here.

[Ancient_Mariner]