You cannot be serious! [J.Mac] Has the decimal point slipped to the rt?
The plague of towns, cities and villages everywhere as yoof shows off its incipient manhood by circulating pointlessly at peak revs, having knocked the baffles out of the exhaust.
And as for jetskis One of th most pointless machines ever invented, save for close inshore rescue.
Image a blissfully sunny evening in summer. Swing gently on your mooring in the river, you’re sitting in the cockpit with your party, sipping the G & Ts or the Savvy Bl. All of a sudden a ‘banshee wail’ breaks out all around as yoof slaloms thru the moorings on jetskis. The wash has people clutching at their glasses …
Ashore, I hear this. Dragged away from my own slurp, I put on my wig and gown, stomp down to the pontoon, fire up the workboat, cast off and intercept slaloming yoof.
“Oi, you lot! Bugger off! You’ve got the ski area do that!”
Muttering about "Toffs … " they head downstream to Harboumaster Devonport’s designated “noisy buggers’ zone”
These guys’ jetskis that have seen better days. An oiled up 2-stroke is a very reluctant starter. There’s always one yoof stuck on the public slipway, 200m downstream, endlessly pulling at the cord and producing nothing but a loud spluttering noice - ad naus.
Late one evening, as dusk was gathering, I was tipped off that ‘there’s someone in the river, hanging off a mooring’.
The tide is ebbing, so the figure hanging on to the mooring with one hand and a jetski with the other is facing away from me. I circle round and simultaneously the casualty and I both let out “Oh, no! It’s you!” The yoof I last had words with about thrashing about amongst the mooring.
He was suitably grateful for being rescued. I did not let the oppertunity pass without giving a lecture on not upsetting ‘The Toffs’ in their boats or me on my patio.
I raise my glass to the day, not far off, when 2-stroke vehicles are no more.