A little mid-week humour to lighten the mood

Ancient_Mariner · 25 April 2023 18:11

DrMarkH · 25 April 2023 18:14

Fox News has announced that it has replaced Tucker Carlson with a state-of-the-art lying Chatbot.

In a brief statement, the Fox chairman Rupert Murdoch thanked Carlson for his service but said that he had been “rendered obsolete by swift advances in lying technology.”

A dry run of the Chatbot showed it emitting nine lies per minute, besting Carlson’s average of eight.

Act of God: The Pursuit of Independence—and a Hundred-Dollar Bill
Watch Act of God: The Pursuit of Independence—and a Hundred-Dollar Bill | The Screening Room | The New Yorker - very good, empathic, off the wall comedy short about disability!

Griffin36 · 25 April 2023 18:45

Wozza · 26 April 2023 16:22

Ancient_Mariner · 26 April 2023 17:03

“See that line?”

“What line?”

“The one behind you!”

Ancient_Mariner · 26 April 2023 17:04

digitracker · 27 April 2023 16:06

digitracker · 27 April 2023 20:19

letsmile · 28 April 2023 06:45

David_Spardo · 28 April 2023 09:32

BARRY CRYER’S SURREAL JOKE
A man walks into a pub and the landlord’s astonished. Half of the man’s head is half of a huge orange.
‘So sorry to be nosy,’ the landlord says, ‘but why is half of your head half of a huge orange?’
‘Well, I was cleaning up the loft,’ the man says. ‘And I found an old lamp. I polished it up, and a genie came swooping out of it, saying, “May I grant you any three wishes, master?”’
‘So I said, “I’d like to have a million pounds – and every time I take the million pounds out of my pocket, another million appears there.”’
The genie said, ‘Your wish is granted. And your second wish?’
The man says, ‘I’d like a big house with 100 beautiful ladies in it.’
‘Your wish is granted,’ says the genie. ‘And your third wish?’
‘I’d like half my head to be half of a huge orange.’

All credit to The Oldie, to whom I have never paid a penny.

David_Spardo · 28 April 2023 09:39

The following arrived 2 minutes after a young lady delivered my parcel to the gate, no signature required. Just shows how they always have an excuse ready to hand, true or otherwise.

Nous n’avons pas pu livrer votre colis car personne n’était présent
pour signer la livraison.

Nous avons besoin d’une confi-rmation d’adresse pour reconfirmer
l’envoi du colis.

↓

VERIFIER ICI

DrMarkH · 28 April 2023 19:13

Tucker Carlson Enters Rehab After Texts Show Him Telling Truth

By Andy Borowitz

April 28, 2023

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Tucker Carlson announced that he has checked into a rehab facility after recently revealed text messages showed him telling the truth.

In a heartfelt statement, the former television personality said that using the truth was “a problem I never thought I’d have. I always thought it was the kind of thing that happened to other people.”