Very sorry for you, from your recent posts it seemed increasingly inevitable that Fran’s end was near and I hope that despite the sorrow it’s a relief for both of you. So many of us have followed your posts in absolute awe at your patience, love and devotion.
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So sorry xxx
Nice of you to say so but you missed out the shouting and the tantrums from time to time which, of course you could only guess at. Yes a relief for her because I had often said, to myself, that if I was in her condition I would bend all my efforts to end it. But she never asked, and I couldn’t have given.
For me? Yes but I do miss having her there, already. On the other hand my waking days were governed by the fact that I must calculate how long I could safely stay away while fulfilling my normal duties of shopping, dog walking etc. Now, although I am not planning to go back to dog transport as before, I couldn’t anyway because of my problems with night driving, but Jules and I might venture a little further afield, maybe even with the caravan. A very good friend from the past who lives in the Alps has invited us there and, food for thought, my son and his girlfriend from the Far East are planning on visiting and wandering in Italy this summer. Perhaps a little rdv might be arranged, who knows?
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It might sound harsh , but I’m glad that you’re already thinking about the future. One of our best friends was buried last week (cancer) and perhaps because for some time it had had an inevitability, we thought increasingly how to work extra hard to keep her husband in our various social groups. In one sense it’s easy because he’s a lovely guy, but we still felt the need to make extra efforts.
The funeral was lovely event that celebrated our friend’s life with a continuous cycle of photos of happy moments being projected in the background. As a result we started to remember her as she was rather than who she became. The ritual was very moving, but afterwards we went back to the house for a superb buffet and everyone was able to relaxa bit.
I hope everything goes as well for you.
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Oh goodness, all my condolences, it’s one thing thinking ahead about a situation and quite another actually dealing with it. I’m so sorry. Keep well. XX
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David, I hope you feel at peace over this when all the dust has settled, and don’t experience the weight of loneliness. As Mark said, it’s really good that you have the future in mind. I have to say that your example was amazing and inspirational for those of who see times like this possibly approaching. Thank you for being willing to open a window into your world on here.
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David, there is so much I want to say, you have been an absolute inspiration to us all with your devotion and persistence in your care for Fran.
Her battle has come to its close and she is now at peace.
As you say it will be so different now that there aren’t all the comings and goings, but the time for what you want or need to will not be so restricted, so take it.
We will be thinking of you on Friday.
With much love.
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So sorry David. It is completely down to you that the last years of Fran’s life were the best they could possibly be in the circumstances, and you have my total admiration for that. On some level she will have know that she was loved and cared for.
So now time to think about you. Early days, but I think one of the aides helped with cleaning the house? You should also be eligible for some additional help so maybe look into whether that can be kept on? Could help stop the house feeling continually emptier with just you and Jules.
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Sad news David, my deepest condolences - it has been a long struggle for you both.
Very sorry to hear this David.
David, I don’t know what to say. I knew Fran only through you, but anyone could see your love for her and that made her so alive for us. I’m grateful to have “known” her, and to know you, and to see such love and devotion in action, in spite of circumstances.
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Condolences David
So sorry David. You were loyal to the end.
Jane and Vero have mentioned you can’t really prepare. I hope you will follow Jane’s suggestion to keep any regular help from aides that you can. Also your own regular routines going forward as a grounding while you adjust and decide things you’re going to do in the future
xx
Dear David, my heart is so full for you and your lovely words about Fran’s end and all that she has meant to you. As other’s have said, your care of Fran has been inspirational and I’m so glad you have felt able to share some of these last years with us.
Yes, the aides have been wonderful and I’m so glad they have been there to support you as well as Fran, but it was you who allowed that change to happen. Those early days of letting them into your life I seem to remember were very hard for you.
May these following days go easily for you and may you life ahead be full of blessings - if anyone has earned them you have.
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David I’m so sorry no matter how long you have had to prepare yourself, death of someone you love is still a shock when it finally arrives. Take consolation in knowing that Fran had the best care and deepdown ,I’m sure she still recognised your love . Xx in
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David I am so sorry for your loss - I can only imagine how hard it’s been for you coping with seeing someone you obviously loved dearly be in such a distressing situation.
But she is at peace now, and I hope that despite your loss you will find peace too.
We are all in awe of how patient and caring you have been throughout despite all the difficulties, and I’m sure everybody on SF is thinking of you and sending all good wishes.
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Thinking of you xx
My deepest condolences @David_Spardo, and sincere wishes for you at this difficult time.
David I’m so, so sorry to hear your news. I can’t believe the bad timing luck but I have oral exams all morning on Friday 
. If it had been anything else I could have cancelled to be there with you. I’m so sorry I can’t be. I’ll call tomorrow xx
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Very sorry for your loss David, and I can only imagine the feelings. You’ve been doing a truly amazing job for so long with Fran. I hope all goes as well as can be expected at the funeral.
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