@David_Spardo I’m going to speak to work when I get there this afternoon and see if I can maybe do the exams this afternoon and tomorrow instead of Friday morning.
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I haven’t been here since yesterday I think, the last post I read was @vero’s, but I am overwhelmed with all your good wishes and comments.
@toryroo It would be great if you could be here, I think it was just you and @Lily who had actually met her, but please don’t cause yourself or others inconvenience so I will add you to the list for the time being. If you do come it will be at the cemetary of St.Front la Riviere 24300 at 10.30.
coords N 45.47590, E 0.73135
Both Annabel and Christine (aides) have confirmed, they have been given time off from their busy duties. Also Gill, my original Scottish nemesis and her husband even though she is still recovering from the broken ankle she suffered at a client’s house last December, also 4, including the Presidente, from Phoenix Rescue, driving over 60 kms, Sharon who runs her kennels which host alot of Dobermanns if she can get cover, the ever present and helpful neighbours, Marie-Paule and Mario which with me, comes to about 12 I think.
I am sure there will be more though but that is the figure I will give to the couple who run Twisted Iron, a biker cum coffee shop, who have offered to shove some tables together for us all afterwards. Marie-Francoise is French who speaks excellent English and her husband Welsh who speaks only English but with an extremely strong Welsh accent. I was in there yesterday for a coffee so all my French, and one English couple, mates know the situation and may turn up too, but on a Friday they are normally in the other bar. One thing about now being less tied to the house is that I will get out earlier each day before they start to drift away.
Bought a double plot at the cemetary yesterday with the Maire, also a friend, and was surprised to be asked only €225, and that for perpetuity. 
I thought in France it had to be renewed every 30 years or so, some good news for my son with whom I shared a video call yesterday and will again today. For all the support I have had, which has been wonderful, for him to offer to fly all the way from China to be with me this week was beyond emotional. I told him no of course, he and his girlfriend will have enough expense this summer flying to and exploring Italy as well as coming here for a few days, and of course, sadly, but joyfully in view of past difficulties, I now have a spare room to offer them. 
Of to see Fran this afternoon, and to make sure they have followed my strict instructions. Get rid of the pigtail she always hated and brush her long blond hair loose, and NO MAKEUP. 
A couple of things I would like advice on. The Notaire has sent a list of documents needed for our rdv on the 1st of July and it appears to me, from the inheritors required, that they don’t realise that they should have all that in their records from 24 years ago when we made the Donation Entre Epoux. Do they expect me to go chasing all over Britain and Ireland to unify a fractured family that in one case at least does not want to be found, and in most cases did not want to know us?
Also I am nervous about the bank account. it is in our names with an ou in the middle, but I have heard of horror stories of them bing locked for a period nevertheless. Any info on that before I tell them?
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Have sent you an email David.
Hello David, I’m wondering whether the cemetery has a Zoom facility so people from afar can nevertheless watch and be with you on the day. A lot of places installed them during the dark days of Covid. Just a thought.
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i very much doubt it but I could mention it to the funeral people via Marie-Paule but I expect it might be met with blank looks.
In any case Davey’s offer was to be here with me, at the funeral also but in support rather than witness. But thank you for the thought.
@Shiba Have received you email and read it, very useful, and I will reply in due course.
Marie-Paule has just been round with a demand from the funeral people to know the maiden name of Fran’s mother for goodness’ sake. Why on earth would they need that and how on earth do they expect me to know? 
I told her that but then remembered in looking through her file seeing a newspaper clipping of a chap from Bolton who emigrated to the States then got run over by a train in Texas which chopped off his arm so couldn’t find work so walked from there to New York, got a passage on a freighter in return for work which he couldn’t do and wasn’t required to, finally arriving back in Bolton to a hero’s welcome. The man’s name was Parkinson and prompted a vague memory that he was Fran’s maternal Grandpa, (or possibly Gt.) so I gave them that name just to shut them up. 
Marie-Paule laughed with me and shrugged ‘c’est bureaucracie Francaise’ 
But, more importantly she is organising a rdv with a bank advisor to quel my fears about frozen accounts and whether or not Fran’s LEP savings account goes straight to her kids, or waits till I am gone. Pretty miffed to say the least if that shit in Ireland gets a penny after disowning his mother and changing all his contact details. Keeping him to a minimum share was the reason I did not accede to Fran’s request to have him declared my own, as she always said he was.
When we set up the LEPs it was the bank’s advice to maximise our tax free interest but allowing us both access to each others’. But I can’t look at hers online although I obviously know how much has accrued because we get annual statements.
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Glad to hear you have got some help with sorting out the admin stuff, and that there will be folks there to support you on Friday.
Had it been next Friday (14th) I would have gladly popped over to represent SF, as I will be only an hour away over the border in Charente, but this Friday I will still be in Angleterre.
We will all be thinking of you I’m sure.
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Nice of you to offer, and, with my new found ‘freedom’ we might have a drink at the border sometime. It is only 30 kms from here but still in the same postcode.
Sounds good! I am only a visitor to France at the moment (and only there for a week this time) but once I have retired and made “The Move” we can certainly do that!
Will make a note, Javerlac is the border town and just before the line is a little bar restaurant called La Guingette. Perfect if we ever make it. 
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Agreed.
Thank you.
David, just been with the principle and have managed to move 2 of my hours until tomorrow so only have 8-9am at work and will be there. Is someone picking you up before?
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I have only just caught up with this thread but wanted to offer my sincere condolences to you, David. As so many others have already said repeatedly, your dedication to looking after Fran throughout the final years of her life has been truly inspirational.
I hope the memories of your time together can help bring you some comfort during this difficult time. Please do take care of yourself.
You will be in my thoughts on Friday.
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I am very sorry to hear your news David. I have followed your posts about looking after Fran, as I know many others on SF have done. I have always admired your courage, fortitude, constructive attitude, kindness and and attention for Fran as well as the many doses of humour you have given us all. I’ll be thinking of you on Friday and wishing you the best for the future.
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The LEP should be part of her estate so will go to you. And you can’t see it as she must never have given you permission - which you have to do specifically for each account.
Back again. saw Fran this afternoon and she is so beautiful, I had to catch my breath. Then, whether the low lighting or my mood I swear I saw her chest move, as if breathing. an optical illusion obviously but I had to put my hand there to convince myself. I spent a few minutes chatting to her and went to kiss her before I left. It was a hot day and I had no jacket on so my car keys were in my shirt pocket. I had to bend low and they fell out into the coffin and disappeared behind her arm. She would have loved it as I was giggling and fiddling at the same time to get them back.
To @Gareth and @Fleur , thank you for your kind words they are appreciated, if somewhat unjustified, especially if you have seen me in one of my rages when she had uttered a harsh word for no apparent reason. I gave full force to my voice and language at those times but from a distance.
@toryroo That is great news, do you know where to go from my satnav coords? I am not sure if I have to go to the funeral place just up the road or straight to the cemetary which is nearer, but I will be in my car anyway and, as Jules will be with me, will be looking for a bit of shade to park in. There is plenty of parking there or opposite on a suitable field. The parking problem will be more acute afterwards when I hope you will join us at a local coffee shop for some coffee and sandwiches. I am a regular there and they have kindly agreed to accommodate us at around 11 or a bit later. With you now coming we will be about 13, but as it is used by my friends there may be more who will join us as well.
That is not what the bank lady said today. She said that it is her account and, while I had access to it when she was alive, that stopped and it was locked the moment she died. As I understand it I will get half of her share, thus a quarter of the total, and the other quarter immediately to her 3 kids. We both had paid into that account and it really bugs me that 2 sons who have refused to have anything to do with her for many years, and one daughter who has not answered all contacts over the last 2 years but has now sent me 4 emails in 2 days, should profit from our foresight.
There is one way which sounds dodgy to me but it involves the Notaire so if he allows it it must be OK. That is, at the suggestion of the funeral director, simply to pass their invoice to me to pass on to the Notaire with a request to pay the bill from Fran’s LEP. If it is OK, that will take the majority of it I reckon, and those bludgers will have to wait till I die for the rest.
In the warm sunshine I walked up through the graves going back many years to the plot that is reserved for us. In full south facing sunshine alongside the wall just before the columbarium, and, she would be delighted with this, only half a dozen graves from a dear friend who died in 2000. When she was able, years ago, she often used to walk down there even with the Greyhound (nobody ever objected to the presence of such a beautiful , gracefull and respectfully calm creature, (and the dog was well behaved too)) as she would sit there in silent contemplation with him. It even gave us some amusement in later years because 2 years later his wife joined him and we knew they didnt get on, especially as they had a narrow single grave so she must have been on top of him. We, on the other hand, will lie in perfect companionship side by side in our deluxe double, with no chance of a cross word for eternity.
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A surprise at the pharmacie yesterday. I had already reported the news and was told that the firm who own the medical bed will call this morning to collect it. I had also mentioned the 2 wheelchairs. One is the normal exterior affair with big wheels, the other is a super deluxe electric armchair which reclines to an almost level degree and has castors for inside use. Nobody has called me to make a rdv to collect them.
Apparently, no-one will be collecting them, they were achats, not louers, bought on our behalf and mine to keep. In addition the original single mattrass that came with the bed but was then swapped for an inflatable one is also staying here.
So this means that not only do I have a spare room for visitors, but also a single bed (on the floor of course) for emergencies. I’d sooner have no spare room and no spare mattrass but we are where we are.
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David, I am in awe of your positivity that clearly is hiding your grief. Compared to the UK post death proceedings that often take 3 weeks or more the French system seems very quick which has to be a blessing for those who have lost.
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It certainly is, and I am so grateful for that. Our friend Christine, one of the aides who will be there on Friday, has spent 3 or 4 weeks in England after her Mum died, and has to go back again on the 29th of this month for the cremation/funeral. Horrendous.
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