The Toilets on the Starship
The Toilets on the Starship Captain’s log dept 16/24 by the Bored Bard https://boredbard.weebly.com/
All characters and events depicted in this poem are entirely fictitious. "All characters and events in this poem even those based on real people are entirely fictional. Honest and you don’t need to change to a French Licence to drive a starship
They beamed aboard a plumber
on the Starship Enterprise
The sewerage system was all blocked
and completely compromised
When Captain Kirk pulled the chain,
the fosse went out of action
There was this massive gurgling sound
which caused a chain reaction
The Plumber scratched his head
cos he didn’tknow what to do
Everywhere was covered
in a sort of gungee goo
He knew he had to find the problem
and fix it “ real quick.”
Before the crew on the Starship
started to get sick
The plumber traced the pipes
along the passageway
Past Lieutenant Uhura’s cabin
and down an old stair way
Then disappeared out of the hull
and there he saw no flow
He saw an old piece of asteroid
was blocking up the hole
He knew then he would have to go where
no mans has ever been
To the Starship’s sewerage outlet
and I can tell you it’s not clean
Meanwhile the pipes were gurgling
and bulging out of shape
And if the pipes were to blow,
all the oxygen would escape
So Bodger took a shuttle out onto the starboard side
And with a set of spanners he bashed the asteroid
Then suddenly without warning the pressure was released
He found himself covered in goo from head to feet
So captain Kirk gave him an award for being a good bloke
Presented him with a medal for his master stroke
The insignia was a toilet surrounded by a crest
It was the order of the toilet and he pinned it on his chest… owch!
