After all a move back to the US would mean uprooting your children again just as they begin to settle
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(((((( Hugs ))))))
That all sounds a bit grim MeghannâŠ
This is my 3rd Christmas hereâŠthe first one I was full of the joys of springâŠmy second one was spent worried sick about my mom and on the verge of going back to ukâŠthis one has seen a recent death in the familyâŠthe ongoing cancer treatment of one of my daughtersâŠand the announcement of my fifth grandchildâŠall of which make me question my path forwardâŠ
Both my son and one of my daughters have gone from actively considering buying a house here to shelving all those plans due to all the uncertaintyâŠ(for brits itâs brexit)
I think Christmas anyway is a very emotional time for manyâŠit brings all those niggles and underlying problems to the foreâŠ
I totally understand your apprehensionâŠdo you have friends and family back in CaliforniaâŠ??? If worse came to worse could they help youâŠ??? Could they maybe set up a go fund me campaign to raise the money for all your flightsâŠ???
Iâm not suggesting for a minute that you give upâŠbut sometimes it helps to have a plan b when you feel like plan a is heading into stormy watersâŠ
Sending you loveâŠand as Ann saysâŠwe are all rooting for youâŠxxx
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Hi Meghan, Your first Christmas so far from home and it is an emotional time anyway.
In such a different environment its bound to feel traumatic, but youâve done the Christmas part now, and got through it, hopefully things will get easier and you and hubby can plan a way forward for the coming year. Big hugs xx
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Its not by my choice i will have to leave. My visa expires in 5 months. Husband has made no effort to help me renew. I will go back to California and be homeless with my 3 kids. Do u guys really think i would choose this route?
Meghan , you are married to a Frenchman, what steps have you taken to apply for a carte de sejour?
Taking a quick look at the official site it seems that you have to apply to the prefecutre/sous prefecture at least 2 months before your visa expires.
Have you contacted your Embassy to ask for their help/advice on what to do now ?
Donât just sit back and say you have no choice, of course you have a choice, either you get yourself moving and find out what needs to be done and act now. Or, you make yourself and your three children homeless. Given the choice I know what I would do.
Of course you are feeling down, but you have to start moving, you arenât doing yourself, your husband or your children any good by being defeatist.
Sorry to be blunt but only you can act noiw Meghann, so at least please try ! 
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I have done as much as i can on my end. I have gathered all documents. But my problem is i have no way to contact anyone. Number one reason i DONT SPEAK FRENCH. I dont have a cell phone to make phone calls either.
SoooooâŠwhat else can u suggest?
My husband doesnt make enough to provide heat for the home we rent. And just yesterday our only car thats over 20yrs old has decided to quit. We do not live near a bus âŠ
Meghann, you obviously have use of the internet.
Have you tried contacting your Embassy for help via internet?
Have you tried looking for FB groups in your area, I believe there is one called LIFT, ladies in France together!
Maybe others on here will have suggestions.
Use the time that you have while at home to learn French, there are plenty of free sites out there that can help. Buy a couple of cheap secondhand French novels, immerse yourself with the language via radio and tv.
Do you have a bicycle ? I didnât have a car for some months and had to cycle everywhere, not pleasant in winter I know but is it a possibility?
Are you so isolated, do you not have neighbours ?..
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No bike. My neighbors are cows. I will research fb
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Iâm assuming that the kids are yours from another relationship? If things are really that bad then ask family and friends to send you some money and get the first plane back to the US so at least the kids donât continue to suffer.
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I know u all dont know the detailsâŠbut dont u guys think i would have thought of these things.
Let me make a super long story short.
My mother died when i was 5
My dad was an alcoholic druggy
I was in the system til 18
My ex husband is a druggy(methamphetamine)
I have lived my life with no real guidance and did the best i knew how.
My current husband didnt realize how hard it is to raise such a big family. So therefore his only advice is for me to return to California and start over. And he will stay here.
This may sound harsh but if your husband is happy to effectively abandon you and his stepchildren as soon as things get tough then frankly youâre better off without him.
If there really is no-one who can (or is willing to) help you then you need to go to the Mairie and see what they can do and go from there.
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Megz have you made the American embassy aware that you and your children are in France?
If not you should do so without delay. They may have a consulate in Calais. Looking at the map I can see that Croisette is a tiny and very isolated place, possibly the least suitable place in France in which to transplant a family of children from California. You must find help from your fellow countrymen and women here in France or at least make them aware of your situation.
You may expect to get a disapproving response and little sympathy, but someone will respond positively as that is, I find, a powerful impulse in most Americans towards fellow Americans abroad. They know what itâs like to be an American abroad:
https://youtu.be/M269BDM-2Po (it may make you smile and lift your spirits a bit)
I donât know how much support you can expect locally. I suspect that very few will be able or willing to help, especially as you donât speak French. But you must make someone locally know of your situation. Could you type out your situation and use Google or Deepl to translate it into French. If you email the marie they will be able to translate it. I understand that this wonât be easy as your husband seems to be shutting down and you canât afford to alienate him by involving others without him being in the picture. Some french people seem extra-sensitive about losing face in their communities where they have their roots.
I agree with Tim. You canât let the situation slide into disaster. Even without a cell-phone you still have access to the internet, so use that to communicate with your embassy and with the mairie in your nearest town. Talk frankly to your kids, and listen to what they tell you they want and suggest. Do they want or benefit from going to school? Do they want to go âhomeâ. What to they think of your husband? What do they want you to do? They are your closest allies.
My best wishes for you all.
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Things must seem bleak 
I get the impression that you are a survivor though.
Iâd echo Peterâs and Timâs comments but add another - what do you want to do?
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Hi Meganne,
Not sure if you have the link to the US Embassy https://fr.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/local-resources-for-us-citizens-in-france/
Also if youâre a family on a low income maybe the French state can help out with income benefits, social housing (H.L.M) free school meals etc etc. A lot of people just donât know what they are entitled to. Saying this Iâve no idea, your husband should look in to this.
Here are a couple of sites your husband will have to plough though them as they are French.
https://mes-aides.gouv.fr/
Allocations destinées aux familles | Service-Public.fr
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@anon88169868 wisely asks âWhat do you want?â
I canât speak for meghann, but Iâd guess from what sheâs disclosed itâs to feel secure, to have someone to care for her, to look out for her, and to help her to support her children.
She canât be expected to do that alone in her present situation, even if sheâs managed in the past, and survived, in my opinion.
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Iâve not been in France a particularly long time but Iâve met several couples whoâve moved here where one of them is much happier with their situation than the other. In each case Iâve got the impression there is no way that the spouse who is less happy would stay a minute longer than they had to if they were on their own. The reasons they give are the usual ones, language, the shops, family, especially grandchildren, and so on. They are people who live in an area where they could jet back to the U.K. for a visit whenever they wanted. It must be even more difficult for somebody thousands of miles from their idea of normality. None of the âunsettledâ people that Iâve met in France have had school age children but that must multiply the difficulty. I knew several British expat families in Germany whose children grew up there but still headed to the U.K. at the first opportunity. Of the children I know who went back to the U.K. to university all stayed there. The children who went on to university or to work in Germany however were happier to stay where they considered home.
Only Meghann knows the details but I get the impression that staying in France is probably not her best option. Even if she has no close family or friends to welcome her back or to smooth the transition it sounds to me as though life might be much more straightforward in a familiar environment where Megan can talk to more than cows and her children can re-establish themselves in an education system that they understand. It wonât be the end of the dream that she was hoping for but the sooner the nightmare is over the better.
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No not at allâŠyour first choice is to no doubt stay here with the man you love and build a future togetherâŠI was just trying to think of a way to raise funds for you and your kids should it come to it and I know that crowd funding is an effective way of doing soâŠ(A group of friends used crowd funding to stop another friend and her dogs from being evicted by the councilâŠit wasnât only the funds that helped herâŠpeople came together to help with everythingâŠdealing with the courtsâŠsolicitorsâŠsocial services and her disability and the whole traumatic processâŠwe kept her in her homeâŠ)
Iâm sure youâve thought about so much already but are there other properties in other areas at a cheaper price than where you are nowâŠ???
And this may sound completely illogical but how easy/difficult would it be for all of youâŠhubby included to move to ukâŠ??? I have no idea if itâs feasible but Iâm just thinking that you and your kids (and hubby) would have no language difficultiesâŠitâs a lot closer to France than the USAâŠApart from our âgovernmentâ I would say that the U.K. people are a warm hearted welcoming and friendly bunchâŠ
Itâs not illogical to make a suggestion, Helen, and it might still be feasible while the pre-Brexit situation re free movement is still fluid, 'tho moving the whole family might be awkward if all the kids as well as Meghann have US passports, and have nowhere to live. There are parts of northern and central England where they might find a place to rent, but would monsieur find work, and the kids appropriate schools? A challenge, but not necessarily impossible.
I will look up crowd-funding (know nowt about it) in case I can be of help somehow, I feel currently useless and helplessâŠ
And Meghann you donât have to commit to any single line of action and rule out others, better perhaps to have several irons in the fire to strike with. But the way you describe your man doesnât inspire much confidence in his ability or willingness to help, but having no money has paralysed my will at times, so I am not laying blame at his door.
Why havenât you got a cell-phone Megz?
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Meghan have you learnt no French whatsoever in the time from when you were first in contact with your husband through marrying him to the time you have been living in France ?
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HummmmmmmmmmâŠ
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